Much of today, the days have passed I have searched, a walking around for answerfor questions before me, I seek for the doubts that kill me so that they will die with the truth i trotted around the uncertain, looking for a path that strays not ahead. Am I wrong for asking of faith? Asking for meaning of belief to a stand, to a reason for my unholy existence.
Hello God,
It's me, You know-who. it sure feels strange to be writing a letter to God. Doesn't it seems a little unnecessary? After all, You knows about my thoughts and feelings better than anyone! But I guess I am doing this out of my own selfishness. I need to open a pen down my thoughts to seek some sense of validation, a prayer would have been better, but writing seems to make things easier for me.
This is perhaps the first time in years that I had a conversation with You. Although You has been listening to all my woes and talks, this time it is different! I am now acknowledging Your presence as a listener to my internal monologues.
God,
For the first time in many months, I prayed to You this evening. But I am sure this is a deed not encountered by You as I was not sincere to my actions. I did it simply because it was requirement for my religious study class. To be honest, as I stood among my fellow Muslims, my heart sank with sadness. I was sad because among the pure, devoted souls I remained as an unwelcome guest. I am a fraud not worthy of being called Your subject. I am not religious. Everybody knows and only You knows how many sins are mounting up my back, waiting a crash upon me at a moment of my carelessness.
